dumb diets

To borrow a line from SNL’s Weekend Update with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler – “Really!?!”

Admittedly I’m always on the hunt for a weight loss miracle.  That one thing that will effortlessly get me back to my dancer’s body of old (without having to dance 3 hours a day everyday, of course).

I’ve never been too discriminating to refrain from trying the wackiest fads nor have I been too disdainful to ignore advice from the nuttiest “experts” in hopes of finding the magical recipe.  Until now.

I have to ask.  Who the hell actually believes that a diet plate will make them skinny?  Does it come packaged with new genes?  Maybe the plate’s ornate design hypnotizes you into a weight-reducing coma.  Honestly, I understand the urge to try any and every diet scam, but a pretty plate – Really!?!

To make the plate work, must you take it to restaurants and demand that the chef serve your filet mignon and mashed potatoes on the plate?  Are people plating every Oreo cookie and Pringles chip they consume?  Do ballpark dogs become healthful when served on this fancy piece of china?  Obviously these are rhetorical questions.

I think its fair to chalk this one up as another crazy concept invented by hungry (pun intended) marketers to turn a heafty (pun intended again) buck.  Even so, the consummate optimist in me wants to find that silver lining.  So, I’ll reluctantly give the plate the benefit of doubt and assume it’s intended function is to teach people healthy serving portions.  And that, without a doubt, is an important and fundamental lesson.  Albeit, a lesson you can learn without a fancy plate.

I suspect I’ll always be looking for the magical weight loss secret, but until I find it I’m doing things the old fashioned way – eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly.  If only I had my 18 year old dancer’s metabolism to go along with it.  Aaaah, a girl can always dream…